Having just seen the ignorant, obsessive letter to the girls of Tumblr from the boys of Tumblr, I thought I would rant for a second about the Trademark “Nice Guys” who claim that they are always overlooked.
First off, this is one of the most dishonest and asshat moves that you could perpetrate for a couple of reasons. 1) It puts forth this idea that you are sort of owed something because you have been there for her. You have listened to her heartache, therefore you are entitled to be looked at differently. But you won’t be. Because the whole time you are playing the role of friend desperately longing for the day when she will look at you and see the “real you” she is looking at her friend. Someone who is supposed to be there without any agendas other than being there for their friend.
Which brings me full circle to my next reason why you will never get the woman you are longing for. 2) BECAUSE YOU ARE LYING TO HER!! Pretending to be someone’s friend, offering them advice (which comes from an agenda-ridden psyche) on their problems and relationships when you are ultimately pining for them, is dishonest. It is skewed advice that you are more than likely giving which is not what your friend is expecting because you have accepted a place of trust in their life as their friend. So they expect you to act like a friend, not an agenda-driven “Nice Guy”.
Another reason that you are not going to end up with the women you are preying upon, is because of number 3) BECAUSE YOU DON’T REALLY CARE ABOUT HER LIKE YOU CLAIM TO (in point of fact you are preying on her)! Otherwise, her happiness would be your top priority, and for you it obviously isn’t. If it were, you wouldn’t be committing either numbers 1 or 2 on the list. You see true, friendships can blossom into something much more and beautiful, but you are not a true friend. Therefore, no blossom for you. True friends don’t have an agenda behind the relationship.
Men, by and large, view women as nothing more than sexual objects, not as people. So they cannot be a true friend, because they cannot see any point to a relationship with a women that doesn’t end in sex. The “Nice Guy” guise is just one more way that asshats have come up with for reaching that end. They just don’t realize that they are asshats. In their warped way of thinking, they are going about things the honorable way. Not sure which is worse…the asshat who is openly an asshat, so at least you kind of know where you stand…or the underhanded asshat who plays at being your friend, toying with your emotions then getting all indignant when you are seen as just a friend.
Either way, it wreaks of entitlement, manipulation, and sexism. If you want to be in a relationship with someone, openly declare your intents and if they too want to give it a try, then get to know them and see how things grow. If you just want someone to fuck, then go fuck yourself!
So well said, nothing more to add really.
THIS!
and to every Nice Guy™ I’ve ever met, fuck you.
i can’t say that i particularly agree with the dichotomous, absolutist thinking (“men want/women want, men are/women are”), but there is just something inherently wrong with anyone that brands themselves a “nice guy”.
